


Arresting Developments

by cutthroatfics



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Animated Series, DC Cinematic Universe, Man of Steel (2013), Superman: The Animated Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arrested Development, Biracial Character, Humor, Implied Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent, Lex Luthor is Black, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-18 02:28:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11864730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutthroatfics/pseuds/cutthroatfics
Summary: Snippets in a universe where the Waynes are the Bluth family of Arrested Development. The roles aren't iron clad in a "this person fits here" kind of way except for Bruce, who is both Lucille and George Sr Bluth, and Clark who is Lucille 2 with a little Lindsay sprinkled in for flavor.Have fun, I know I am (trying to).





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [blakefancier](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blakefancier/gifts).



> [This](http://cutthroatbitchcult.tumblr.com/tagged/batbluth) is a link to the tag on my Tumblr where I add inspirations or future snippets a bit early.
> 
> These are only supposed to be drabbles or snippets so they'll only be a couple of hundred words or under 1k. This might evolve into a larger fic. If it does I'll make this a series.
> 
> Please enjoy. Read comment and repeat!

Bruce Wayne was a vigilante superhero, father of four, functional alcoholic and he ran a billion dollar company that only added to his families old money. Truthfully he had very little in his life to complain about, but Bruce was an overachiever and he wasn't going to let a little think like decency get in his way.

 

“Look at them.” He gestured at the television with his martini glass.

 

The Justice League was on television receiving a ceremonial award to commemorate them saving the world, again. Truthfully Bruce had tried to avoid the whole affair. He had a standing date with Selina Kyle to mock the members of the Gotham City Country Club whilst in the Gotham City Country Club that he really didn't want to give up. Wonder Woman and Superman had insisted he come and he'd refused until the Flash asked him.

 

“Look at what they've done to me,” Bruce announced to his children. On the screen, the assembled heroes were a mass of brightly colored supersuits and smiles except for him. As Batman Bruce could neither afford to smile or dress in anything other than the black bespoke kevlar suit he'd commissioned. “Everything they do is so flamboyant and dramatic.”

 

Jason leveled him with a with a flat look as Damian huffed in his boredom.

 

“It makes me want to set myself on fire.” Bruce said taking a sip from his martini.

 

“With all that vodka I'm not so sure fire is your friend.” Dick said getting out of his seat. “I'm going to go.”

 

Bruce pursed his lips as he swiveled his chair to look at Dick, “And what do you have to do that's more important than your family?”

 

“Anything?” Jason said getting up.

 

“I can stay Bruce.” Tim says so over eager that he might burst out of his skin.

 

Bruce snorts as he swallows the rest of his martini like it's water, “You have nothing to do?” Bruce sets down his glass and turns back to the monitor in front of him. “Surprising.” He finishes dryly.

 

Tim throws up his hands and follows Jason and Dick as they leave the cave.

 

Bruce looks up when the room is silent. Damian is watching him silently from his chair. Bruce stares back for a few moments before he speaks. “Are you hungry or something?”

 

Damian says nothing.

 

Bruce breaks eye contact as he rises from his chair, “Let's go get ice cream.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lessons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [This](http://cutthroatbitchcult.tumblr.com/tagged/batbluth) is a link to the tag on my Tumblr where I add inspirations or future snippets a bit early.
> 
> Please enjoy. Read comment and repeat!

Thomas Wayne used his considerable means to stage elaborate “lessons” to teach his son not to do things. Such as the time their carpenter “lost his arm” after spelunking down the well in the property who then had his arm “bitten off by bats.”

  
  


“Do you remember that time that Bruce had that guy fake losing his arm because we didn’t put our shoes in the closet?” Jason asked Tim.

  
  


“Or that time he had that guy fake losing his arm by closing it in the refrigerator?” Dick said snapping his fingers. He leaning towards the others. “Why did he do that again?”

  
  


“Because you kept forgetting to close the door, Grayson.” Damian said with a huff. “I don’t see why you’re upset, you always close the door now.”

  
  


“I closed the door before!” Dick said throwing his arms up.

  
  


“Why are you defending him?” Tim said as he took a drink from the waiter. As Tim took the drink the waiter’s arm came off. Tim and Dick were covered in arterial spray as the severed arm fell on the table. Jason screamed as the man collapsed to the ground.

  
  


“What-?” Damian said as the man’s blood soaked his trousers.

  
  


Bruce came out of the shadows in the corner of the restaurant. “And that’s why we don’t snatch things.” The man who collapsed on the floor got to his feet and gave a thumbs up.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where is the storage unit, Bruce?

Clark had called a meeting of the Justice League to discuss important matters to the world they all helped protect. Bruce was of course horribly bored seeing as none of the problems occurred in Gotham City and that Clark, his best friend, and bitter rival, was the one delivering the news.

 

Bruce took a sip of the vodka martini he had mixed before the meeting.

 

“I'd like to bring up the storage unit–” Bruce coughed as he sucked his martini down the wrong pipe. All the members of the League looked at him as he waved them off. “Right.” Clark said as Bruce settled back down. “So the storage unit of kryptonite–”

 

“I have no idea where it is.” Bruce said and Clark finally turned to him.

 

“That would be a lot more believable if you let me finish,” Clark said as he narrowed his eyes at Bruce.

 

“Well,” Bruce said putting his martini down. “I have no idea where it is–”

 

“Cut the crap, Bruce we all knew you took it.” Vic said giving him an unimpressed stare.

 

“No I didn't,” Bruce said picking his martini back up.

 

“Right,” Vic said sarcastically. “Where is it?”

 

“I don't know,” Bruce repeated and even Diana gave him an unimpressed stare. “Something -burg. Daleburg?” No one looked like they were buying it. “Burgdale?” Bruce said standing up. “I don't know. Get a warrant.” Bruce said and several smoke pellets exploded around the room filling the lighthouse with smoke.

 

“Damn it.” Clark said rushing to a window. With a rush of super speed Barry helped him funnel the smoke out of the lighthouse but Bruce was gone. “I really wish we could finish a meeting without him doing that.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment if you want me to go a bit quicker. I have a couple of hundred fics I'm writing and I'm liable to forget about something if someone doesn't remind me.
> 
> Remember kids: If you want me to spend the time, write a comment and be kind!

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment if you want me to go a bit quicker. I have a couple of hundred fics I'm writing and I'm liable to forget about something if someone doesn't remind me.
> 
> Remember kids: If you want me to spend the time, write a comment and be kind!


End file.
